haha before continuing studying i shall make a suggestion for all my blog readers:
How to make people like you more?
Mmm while studying for Social Psychology, an interesting theory popped up under the topic of Affililation where we study why there is a need for human beings to feel a sense of belonging to a certain group of people. Well definitely the issue of love and romance popped up as we look at the theories that determine why people need to love someone else and ultimately start a new family and continue on with another step of their lives.
Interesting one of the theories which I found out was talking about how to make someone like you more. Common sense or what most readers will think that if you want to make someone like you more, u will complement him/her as much as possible or even spend more quality time with him/her... but apparently this theory said that it is not true in reality. In reality, in order to make someone like you more, you must keep insulting them and suddenly at one point of time, start to complement him/her... mmm well after studying through the notes, i seemed to agree with this logic due to the fact that when you insult someone, that someone will think that you are a jerk and form negative perceptions about you. But when suddenly u start to complement that someone, these compliments will make that someone revise their perception about you. In human nature, when there is a conflict among their perceptions, they are more likely to choose the more favourable due to the fact that the risk involved is much lower (ie to have a friend is much better to have an enemy... also another theory states that humans will tend to take a greater risk if they are involve in something favourable and they did not see anything risky)... well thats why that particular someone will form a much better perception about you when compared to constant complimenting about them from the start...
True or not, i dont really believe it at first... but well in an academic side, think of it this way, if there is a lecturer that you think is a bastard or bitch, and suddenly he/she turned around and give you good grades? Wouldn't you perception about this lecturer suddenly turned around?
Well this also applies in relationship i guess... In a Stephen Chow's chinese movie, the phrase "Nan Ren Bu Huai, Nu Ren Bu Ai" came up. The translation is that if a guy is not bad enough, a gal will not like. Apparently if a guy is bad towards other people, the gal is more likely to form a negative impression about the guy... and the guy suddenly treat the gal well enough, the gal tends to like the guy more on the fact that this guy is making the gal to feel a sense of "special treatment".... well thats for the guy's perceptive...
Haha for me? mmm dont believe i fall in that category... I am the typical traditional guy who still maintain the idea that to like someone is to keep complimenting her and make her feel special... haha I where got heart to insult someone that i like???
*The course of true love never did run smooth* well now i know the meaning i guess... the complexity of having a relationship... if there really a need to insult them?
well thats my line of thought after studying psychology...
How to make people like you more?
Mmm while studying for Social Psychology, an interesting theory popped up under the topic of Affililation where we study why there is a need for human beings to feel a sense of belonging to a certain group of people. Well definitely the issue of love and romance popped up as we look at the theories that determine why people need to love someone else and ultimately start a new family and continue on with another step of their lives.
Interesting one of the theories which I found out was talking about how to make someone like you more. Common sense or what most readers will think that if you want to make someone like you more, u will complement him/her as much as possible or even spend more quality time with him/her... but apparently this theory said that it is not true in reality. In reality, in order to make someone like you more, you must keep insulting them and suddenly at one point of time, start to complement him/her... mmm well after studying through the notes, i seemed to agree with this logic due to the fact that when you insult someone, that someone will think that you are a jerk and form negative perceptions about you. But when suddenly u start to complement that someone, these compliments will make that someone revise their perception about you. In human nature, when there is a conflict among their perceptions, they are more likely to choose the more favourable due to the fact that the risk involved is much lower (ie to have a friend is much better to have an enemy... also another theory states that humans will tend to take a greater risk if they are involve in something favourable and they did not see anything risky)... well thats why that particular someone will form a much better perception about you when compared to constant complimenting about them from the start...
True or not, i dont really believe it at first... but well in an academic side, think of it this way, if there is a lecturer that you think is a bastard or bitch, and suddenly he/she turned around and give you good grades? Wouldn't you perception about this lecturer suddenly turned around?
Well this also applies in relationship i guess... In a Stephen Chow's chinese movie, the phrase "Nan Ren Bu Huai, Nu Ren Bu Ai" came up. The translation is that if a guy is not bad enough, a gal will not like. Apparently if a guy is bad towards other people, the gal is more likely to form a negative impression about the guy... and the guy suddenly treat the gal well enough, the gal tends to like the guy more on the fact that this guy is making the gal to feel a sense of "special treatment".... well thats for the guy's perceptive...
Haha for me? mmm dont believe i fall in that category... I am the typical traditional guy who still maintain the idea that to like someone is to keep complimenting her and make her feel special... haha I where got heart to insult someone that i like???
*The course of true love never did run smooth* well now i know the meaning i guess... the complexity of having a relationship... if there really a need to insult them?
well thats my line of thought after studying psychology...
5 Comments:
Yiching?? Serious?? hee hee... got drama to watch already... after Sam's one. :p
Actually, i think it's due to competition that girls prefer bad boys. They normally choose a bad boy cause she managed to 'win him' from the other girls, and that he's willing to change for her.
haha i clarify first... I AM NOT CHASING YICHENG!!! got someone else in my heart liao... and KEITH STOP LAUGHING!!!! It is not my stalkers as well
HAHAHAH danny!!! that means alot of ppl like me lah!!! everyone also insult me! cheyyyy....i wish! hahahha
anywayyy...for the bad-guy debate... don't these guys ALSO have another side to them? they may have the tough/irritating/prick-like attitude but it doens't mean that they are like that. a person has many layers, just like an onion. you've said that yourself before. that's one thing.
another thing is... maybe...(only maybe eh) these toughies have some sort of aura (i've no idea what i'm spouting right now) that gals find security in???
Personally I don't think its so much that the girls go for the 'bad boys', as that the nice guys tend to have very little self confidence. Sure, you can let a girl cry on your shoulder, but if you're too nervous to ask her out while someone else will, who's she going to pick? I've noticed, and I was a 'nice guy' for a while so I speak from experience, that a lot of the nice guy complaints translate quite nicely to, I don't like the way my life is heading but I'm too much of a doormat to stand up and try to do something about it.
well i also noticed that "nice guys" complain so much that they're nice guys and dun get the "girls" well...if u claim that you're a nice guy...then why complain so much...and if you claim that you can't get the girl, work harder! =) simple logic right? AND if you claim and complain about such things, it doesn't make you that much of a nice guy too ... =)
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