MUISS
Well just finished reading Ryan's blog about the current MUISS execs, mmm not my normal practice to comment about other people's blog or even speak my heart out... like what Ryan said... this is my blog and i can say whatever i want i guess...
Before i continue, i would like to say today's gen com meeting was hedious... shocking and disappointing... not coz i am half an hour late for work due to the meeting but other things as well which i will continue...
Well normally I would defend myself against any accusations that people say about me coz i believe that everything i do so far is the correct way or shld i say the best way... but well Ryan, I did agree with you in terms of what you say about MUISS and myself... As a lone ranger, i think I am successful in every aspects, but as a team member, I had failed miserably... this I say it is true... what i going to say next i emphasise is not to defend myself or an excuse for anything...
Last year as gen com, i really did spend all my life in MUISS lounge, no matter wat happens i am always there... but I declared that 50% of me is willing to spend time there but 50% of me just want to stay there coz i do not want to return to Seascape. This year I also hope to spend as much time in MUISS and bond with everybody in the committee but I really did not have mcuh time available... Also my true feelings even from the interviews of gen coms and team building camp, I felt displaced to a certain extent... dont know why... some people can say that Elly is the reason and some other say that I have changed... I just dont know... as the President, things had been going hard on me i guess.. I really miss the team building camp I had in Sorrento when i am a gen com... I miss going crazy with Chang Wei, i miss the days i dont need to worry about things and just enjoy myself... this I told myself that I will commit at least 20 hours of my time for MUISS no matter what happend... well 20 hours is just like the maximum number of hours that my visa will allow me to work... less meeting times (both internally and externally), less office duties, PRing and less the time i spend on reports, mm i will be left like 3 to 4 hrs left... well most of the time I am in MUISS...
I want to spend more time with my execs, but everyone always say that they are busy and etc.. not saying that i blame them, i also have my other committment etc... initially i did try to make the extra mile by trying to meeting up with them, especially after the meeting in my house and in MUISS Lounge... but well when often u try to make the extra mile and see no progress, you also xianz right? Being the President, i agree that i am the figurehead and the leader... everything i do, i will be setting an example... But well look at it this way, even you set an example, what is the use if no one wants to follow? Everybody can say they are busy... when i say i am busy, they say that I am not committed to MUISS... Everybody say they got assignment, come on... i also got assignment... everybody else say they are busy... how about me? maybe i blame myself for involving myself with so much things... but I am not like anyone else who can get money but reaching out my hands... I am not anyone to sit back to see things happen... but well...
I agree that I am supposed to lead my execs and my gen coms... to me leading is to be there for them, providing them with direction and of course make decisions with them... share the joy and pain together... share everything together... start off as a team, work as a team and end as a team... well good vision and ideology.. i totally agree with that... True i must share what i been doing to everyone... make a decision based on the whole committee decision... representing MUISS, representing International Students and ultimately representing Monash Uni as a whole... but who can understand what I been doing? people had been saying that if i spend more time explaining to everyone, they would understand, or even comprehend to a certain extent... when they understand, then we make a decision and later feedback to them... Well i did try to explain what i been doing... but in the end it only ended with more misunderstandings and more conflict... Another thing is MUISS always take pride as an organisation who dont involve itself in politics... whether internal or external... gosh how i wish that i can continue with that...
Ryan, no offence at this stage... I really hold high regards as you as a President of MUISS and of course as a great friend... To me, i always thought that you are the better president beside Cheng Hoe and Yvonne coz you have the support of your peers and a lot of other things... I knew that you see more of the university than me... you sit in more university meetings than me... i also agree with your philosphy that it is better to walk out with 20 friends better than none... Like I say this year is very crucial... I dont want to use VSU or ASOL as an excuse... but since you are involved in the university level, you will know that the whole university at this stage is in a stage of uncertainity... even the whole of MI is undergoing change... next few weeks, even MI may not exist to assist MUISS... with so much uncertainity there are much politics going on here and everywhere... No saying that within these few months i knew about everything in university... but things are getting more complex everyday... as complexity increases, deep down in my heart, i really hope that i have more than 24 hrs a day to solve these issues... I know that you will choose friends over what happen in MUISS or what you term as achievement... well frankly speaking at this stage, if i have a choice i would choose friends over everything... to me friends are always the most important thing... but following on what Byran say... "even if you dont perform, MUISS will still survive..." now looking at this stage... to what extent will that be true? It is true that even if VSU is to be implemented, MUISS or the other Monash ISOs will still survive no matter what... but how it will be? How the future MUISS will be? will it still be the MUISS where all my precious memories of friends and laugther we have there? how would the FOMs and well as previous committee members' memories of the place like you once called "second home" be like? I may sound a bit overboard in these two sentences and some people may term me as a over emotional and over reacting person... at this stage, i am more concerned about the survival of MUISS as a whole... also the image of Monash University as a whole... call me selfish, call me an idiot, call me an asshole who wanted fame and fortune by doing all these things only for himself... so be it... but ultimately, my goal is that i want my degree to look better and international students will not get the same shit that I had to go through when I was here... Ryan, our priorities are different... but this is not an excuse that i will let the team go separate ways or become enemies at each other throat... I will endevaour to try as hard as possible...
I frankly speaking dont know how much I had grown... from my first year till now, I am always bent on changing Monash... my hatred for Singapore Universities drove me insane i guess... maybe more toned down at this stage especially when i felt more attached to Monash University as a whole... but this attachment had pushed my limits to contribute as much to the university and hoping that it will improve... often people misunderstand me that my contributions are being justified by going to have a better looking resume... like i always say... screwed the resume... my passion is driving me... but coz of this irritating thing call passion, i always wanted people to have the same level of passion as me... but that is not possible... if i were to say it in a bad way, i am willing to die (chinese) for Monash... how many people are willing to say that?
Since i am small, i always believe that my life is boring and my thoughts are worthless to others... i never share my experience with anyone... always kept my thoughts within me... always thought that my ideas are stupid and not workable, think that no one will listen to me when i speak... well even now i am the same... Elly used to tell me that I am a confident person coz i am the President of MUISS... well I am not... I am human... I am not even confident that my execs have trust in my capabilities... I dont even have the confidence that the direction that I am pushing MUISS into is the right direction... I dont even have the confidence that I am even able to pass this semester if i persist in MUISS... people always say I am a HD boy or I am a D boy with no problems in studies... I am not... I am really not... mmm seems like this is getting more personal every minute i am writing this blog... well underlying factor, once i have a setback, i will go into free fall... i am going free falling now... coz of my belief that team works sux... haha no offence to my execs team... that is what i always believed over 25 years of my life... i am even persuing to write a thesis against teamwork... thats why i took a double degree in psych, management and sociology to futher this thesis....
well everybody who read this blog, please bear in mind that friend is friend, work is work... and i regard everyone as a friend...
Well just finished reading Ryan's blog about the current MUISS execs, mmm not my normal practice to comment about other people's blog or even speak my heart out... like what Ryan said... this is my blog and i can say whatever i want i guess...
Before i continue, i would like to say today's gen com meeting was hedious... shocking and disappointing... not coz i am half an hour late for work due to the meeting but other things as well which i will continue...
Well normally I would defend myself against any accusations that people say about me coz i believe that everything i do so far is the correct way or shld i say the best way... but well Ryan, I did agree with you in terms of what you say about MUISS and myself... As a lone ranger, i think I am successful in every aspects, but as a team member, I had failed miserably... this I say it is true... what i going to say next i emphasise is not to defend myself or an excuse for anything...
Last year as gen com, i really did spend all my life in MUISS lounge, no matter wat happens i am always there... but I declared that 50% of me is willing to spend time there but 50% of me just want to stay there coz i do not want to return to Seascape. This year I also hope to spend as much time in MUISS and bond with everybody in the committee but I really did not have mcuh time available... Also my true feelings even from the interviews of gen coms and team building camp, I felt displaced to a certain extent... dont know why... some people can say that Elly is the reason and some other say that I have changed... I just dont know... as the President, things had been going hard on me i guess.. I really miss the team building camp I had in Sorrento when i am a gen com... I miss going crazy with Chang Wei, i miss the days i dont need to worry about things and just enjoy myself... this I told myself that I will commit at least 20 hours of my time for MUISS no matter what happend... well 20 hours is just like the maximum number of hours that my visa will allow me to work... less meeting times (both internally and externally), less office duties, PRing and less the time i spend on reports, mm i will be left like 3 to 4 hrs left... well most of the time I am in MUISS...
I want to spend more time with my execs, but everyone always say that they are busy and etc.. not saying that i blame them, i also have my other committment etc... initially i did try to make the extra mile by trying to meeting up with them, especially after the meeting in my house and in MUISS Lounge... but well when often u try to make the extra mile and see no progress, you also xianz right? Being the President, i agree that i am the figurehead and the leader... everything i do, i will be setting an example... But well look at it this way, even you set an example, what is the use if no one wants to follow? Everybody can say they are busy... when i say i am busy, they say that I am not committed to MUISS... Everybody say they got assignment, come on... i also got assignment... everybody else say they are busy... how about me? maybe i blame myself for involving myself with so much things... but I am not like anyone else who can get money but reaching out my hands... I am not anyone to sit back to see things happen... but well...
I agree that I am supposed to lead my execs and my gen coms... to me leading is to be there for them, providing them with direction and of course make decisions with them... share the joy and pain together... share everything together... start off as a team, work as a team and end as a team... well good vision and ideology.. i totally agree with that... True i must share what i been doing to everyone... make a decision based on the whole committee decision... representing MUISS, representing International Students and ultimately representing Monash Uni as a whole... but who can understand what I been doing? people had been saying that if i spend more time explaining to everyone, they would understand, or even comprehend to a certain extent... when they understand, then we make a decision and later feedback to them... Well i did try to explain what i been doing... but in the end it only ended with more misunderstandings and more conflict... Another thing is MUISS always take pride as an organisation who dont involve itself in politics... whether internal or external... gosh how i wish that i can continue with that...
Ryan, no offence at this stage... I really hold high regards as you as a President of MUISS and of course as a great friend... To me, i always thought that you are the better president beside Cheng Hoe and Yvonne coz you have the support of your peers and a lot of other things... I knew that you see more of the university than me... you sit in more university meetings than me... i also agree with your philosphy that it is better to walk out with 20 friends better than none... Like I say this year is very crucial... I dont want to use VSU or ASOL as an excuse... but since you are involved in the university level, you will know that the whole university at this stage is in a stage of uncertainity... even the whole of MI is undergoing change... next few weeks, even MI may not exist to assist MUISS... with so much uncertainity there are much politics going on here and everywhere... No saying that within these few months i knew about everything in university... but things are getting more complex everyday... as complexity increases, deep down in my heart, i really hope that i have more than 24 hrs a day to solve these issues... I know that you will choose friends over what happen in MUISS or what you term as achievement... well frankly speaking at this stage, if i have a choice i would choose friends over everything... to me friends are always the most important thing... but following on what Byran say... "even if you dont perform, MUISS will still survive..." now looking at this stage... to what extent will that be true? It is true that even if VSU is to be implemented, MUISS or the other Monash ISOs will still survive no matter what... but how it will be? How the future MUISS will be? will it still be the MUISS where all my precious memories of friends and laugther we have there? how would the FOMs and well as previous committee members' memories of the place like you once called "second home" be like? I may sound a bit overboard in these two sentences and some people may term me as a over emotional and over reacting person... at this stage, i am more concerned about the survival of MUISS as a whole... also the image of Monash University as a whole... call me selfish, call me an idiot, call me an asshole who wanted fame and fortune by doing all these things only for himself... so be it... but ultimately, my goal is that i want my degree to look better and international students will not get the same shit that I had to go through when I was here... Ryan, our priorities are different... but this is not an excuse that i will let the team go separate ways or become enemies at each other throat... I will endevaour to try as hard as possible...
I frankly speaking dont know how much I had grown... from my first year till now, I am always bent on changing Monash... my hatred for Singapore Universities drove me insane i guess... maybe more toned down at this stage especially when i felt more attached to Monash University as a whole... but this attachment had pushed my limits to contribute as much to the university and hoping that it will improve... often people misunderstand me that my contributions are being justified by going to have a better looking resume... like i always say... screwed the resume... my passion is driving me... but coz of this irritating thing call passion, i always wanted people to have the same level of passion as me... but that is not possible... if i were to say it in a bad way, i am willing to die (chinese) for Monash... how many people are willing to say that?
Since i am small, i always believe that my life is boring and my thoughts are worthless to others... i never share my experience with anyone... always kept my thoughts within me... always thought that my ideas are stupid and not workable, think that no one will listen to me when i speak... well even now i am the same... Elly used to tell me that I am a confident person coz i am the President of MUISS... well I am not... I am human... I am not even confident that my execs have trust in my capabilities... I dont even have the confidence that the direction that I am pushing MUISS into is the right direction... I dont even have the confidence that I am even able to pass this semester if i persist in MUISS... people always say I am a HD boy or I am a D boy with no problems in studies... I am not... I am really not... mmm seems like this is getting more personal every minute i am writing this blog... well underlying factor, once i have a setback, i will go into free fall... i am going free falling now... coz of my belief that team works sux... haha no offence to my execs team... that is what i always believed over 25 years of my life... i am even persuing to write a thesis against teamwork... thats why i took a double degree in psych, management and sociology to futher this thesis....
well everybody who read this blog, please bear in mind that friend is friend, work is work... and i regard everyone as a friend...
